Fog of War: Koppenhaver Asks for Donations

By Jake Rossen Dec 8, 2009
The only real holdups in a hypothetical War Machine reality show are the legal repercussions: the parent network would need a team of counsel to field lawsuits from the punched.

But now you can help. Machine has taken to Twitter to solicit donations for his legal costs for the allegations he having assaulted -- possibly in self-defense -- nearly a dozen adult-industry workers at a birthday party gone awry last month.

“Fans, friends and supporters!” he typed. “Help keep WM out of jail! I can beat these bulls--t charges EASY! But it's gonna cost ALOT! I made a PayPal.”

Clearly, the potential for massive legal fees and time tied up in court is weighing on him heavily, as evidenced by the emotional Tweet sent an hour prior: “Just went Christmas tree shopping with my friends now their house smells so yummy!!!”

You’re welcome to donate how you like, but I suspect he’ll never have a chance to put in to use in court: Machine’s life seems pre-destined to be lived out in the mountains, a burlap sack tied around his torso for warmth, the monotony broken up by the occasional dismemberment of lost hikers or law enforcement. He’s a landmine with wheels.
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