War Machine, on “The Savage Dog Show,” discussing whether he was involved in any fights while serving his one-year jail sentence:

“There were a couple of incidents where people tried to start stuff, and luckily it didn’t escalate. But never [with] guys that knew about my fighting background. Anyone that knew I was a fighter, no one ever wanted to challenge me. Everyone says jail’s full of tough guys, but none of them are tough. They all just talk. No one challenged me. … I was in jail with the highest, most dangerous criminals in San Diego or whatever, the highest classified guys, and there was like four fights the whole year. These guys have all done prison terms in Pelican Bay and stuff, and they don’t do nothing. Jail isn’t what you think it is. Guys there aren’t that tough.”

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The only real holdups in a hypothetical War Machine reality show are the legal repercussions: the parent network would need a team of counsel to field lawsuits from the punched.

But now you can help. Machine has taken to Twitter to solicit donations for his legal costs for the allegations he having assaulted -- possibly in self-defense -- nearly a dozen adult-industry workers at a birthday party gone awry last month.

“Fans, friends and supporters!” he typed. “Help keep WM out of jail! I can beat these bulls--t charges EASY! But it's gonna cost ALOT! I made a PayPal.”

Clearly, the potential for massive legal fees and time tied up in court is weighing on him heavily, as evidenced by the emotional Tweet sent an hour prior: “Just went Christmas tree shopping with my friends now their house smells so yummy!!!”

You’re welcome to donate how you like, but I suspect he’ll never have a chance to put in to use in court: Machine’s life seems pre-destined to be lived out in the mountains, a burlap sack tied around his torso for warmth, the monotony broken up by the occasional dismemberment of lost hikers or law enforcement. He’s a landmine with wheels.

Any moral or ethical objections to the industry aside, you have to give it to the pornography industry in one respect: they take in everybody. Give them your tired, your drug-addled, your daddy-issued, your clinically psychotic…there’s a job for everyone. Some more pleasant than others.

So what does it say about War Machine -- birth name Jon Koppenhaver -- that he’s not likely to be welcomed back in hedonism central? Koppenhaver, who sports a not-bad 10-3 record and was infamous for ill-thought-out rants on his Internet profiles, is currently wanted by Metro police in Nevada for allegedly “beating and choking” his girlfriend. This may or may not coincide with an incident over the weekend in which he is said to have assaulted a number of individuals at an adult industry-centric birthday party in California.

Metro considers him “armed and dangerous.” I would consider adopting whatever protocol is used for the escape of a zoo animal, up to and including tranquilizers and raw meat lures.

Yoshiyuki Yoshida must have knocked something loose.

War Machine, the man formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver, stopped EliteXC veteran Mikey Gomez on third-round strikes in the featured bout at Xtreme Fighting Championships 9 “Evolution” on Saturday at the St. Pete Times Forum in Tampa, Fla. The end came 19 seconds into round three.

The victory was Machine’s fifth in a row, all of them finishes, since he was left unconscious by a Yoshida anaconda choke at UFC 83 in May 2008. A product of Season 6 of “The Ultimate Fighter” reality series, the 28-year-old vagabond has competed inside a different organization in each of his five bouts since departing from the UFC.

Meanwhile, Pablo Alfonso submitted the previously unbeaten Jason Goodall 2:40 into the fourth round to capture the XFC bantamweight championship. The 27-year-old Miami, Fla., native has now delivered four of his five professional victories by submission.