Topical Applications
Jake Rossen Jan 28, 2008
Standard Sherdog.com procedure usually dictates I drone on and on
about one topic per editorial. (Honest: There's an entire
behavioral manual for the site. In addition to web protocol, we all
have to be mean to TJ De Santis and wear hats with that dog.)
However, due to an unfortunate case of late-onset Attention Deficit Disorder, a bunch of subjects are getting tossed at the wall this week. If your reading options are limited to this and your girlfriend's Redbook, I pity you.
Heavy Duty
This weekend looks to be critical for the UFC's heavyweight division. In addition to the debut of Brock Lesnar (Pictures), UFC 81 is headlined by a title bout between Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (Pictures) and Tim Sylvia (Pictures), effectively the No. 2 fighters of their once-disparate organizations.
Sylvia is an impressive 8-3 in the Octagon, a two-time champion who never once got the benefit of a squash match. Nogueira finished two men (Mirko "Cro Cop" and Semmy Schilt (Pictures)) that Emelianenko couldn't, and he split meetings with the one man (Josh Barnett (Pictures)) that remains a glaring omission on the Russian's record.
It's fine for Couture and his hypothetical adversary to prioritize administrative decisions that make sense for their careers, but business shouldn't be a factor in rankings. Sylvia and Nogueira are out there running the gauntlet. They deserve the recognition afforded to fighters who negotiate their standing with their fists, not their tax returns.
Brocked
No discussion of scale-tipping athletes would be complete without mentioning Lesnar, who will have his first real test as a combat artist this Saturday against the increasingly agile Frank Mir (Pictures).
Considering Lesnar's potential as one of the division's few truly charismatic competitors, it's more than a little puzzling that Zuffa would pair him with Mir, who is capable of taking the one place in the Octagon that Lesnar would find most comforting -- the mat -- and turn it into a highly volatile experience. That danger exists even after Mir's infamous motorcycle accident, which impaired his athleticism in proceeding bouts. In fact, the former heavyweight champion's last fight, against Antoni Hardonk (Pictures), was earmarked by some as the first time Mir had looked like himself again.
Unless something unusual happens, it's likely this fight will end up with Lesnar in Mir's guard, trying to turn his face into a Dali painting. And that's where Mir is most threatening, as evidenced by the oft-played footage of him snapping Sylvia's forearm like a breadstick.
To the UFC's way of thinking, Lesnar's muscular endurance -- formed by years on the collegiate wrestling circuit -- is likely to outperform Mir's notoriously shallow gas tank. If it goes more than a round, Lesnar is going to make Mir a permanent fixture of the canvas. But until then, it'll be the most dangerous five minutes of his many professional careers.
Nevada Tests Positive
Word broke this week that the Nevada State Athletic Commission, one of the country's most influential and competent assemblies, would soon begin randomly testing athletes for performance-enhancing drugs year-round.
I had previously harangued the boards for making minimal effort to screen out walking pharmacies; by testing only immediately before and after fights, you weed out only those who can't time their use correctly. It's only fair that Nevada should now be applauded for strengthening its program to include testing in the "off-season," when athletes might not necessarily be preparing for a bout.
With the threat of randomly seized urine being implemented, 2008 could be the year we see the cleanest physiques and most authentic constitutions in the sport's history. It could also mean a rise in the number of athletes getting injured during training and not being able to compete as often as they'd like. (Steroids, after all, are more about recovery than Popeye-sized forearms.)
As much as the fighters might stress over the new practice, it'll be the promoters who have the most to lose: If a fighter slotted for a big, advertised main event melts a Styrofoam cup with only weeks to go, it could substantially impact business. Since that also damages Nevada's bottom line (it collects taxes on bouts), it'll be interesting to see how the state times the spontaneous testing.
Tank Talk
I'll never forget the PR-on-mescaline approach SEG took during the early days of the UFC, with its hyperbolic ad copy and ominous warnings from the inimitable Bruce Beck. ("This is not an exhibition. This … is real." God, I miss you, Bruce.)
Of particular amusement was the sub-nickname SEG granted David "Tank" Abbott on one of its VHS box covers. If the sleeve was to be trusted, "Sherman" Tank Abbott was his handle. I'm sure Abbott is glad that never caught on.
Seeing the burly, lazy heavyweight on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" this week, I was again reminded why the public will never tire of him, no matter how many fights he drops. (He's 1-6 since his '03 comeback, if you're counting.) The guy has an undeniable, predatory charm. If you're not paying close attention, you can almost buy his claims that those losses were due to anything but a lack of fighting acumen, and that rematches fought in the murky streets of Huntington Beach would have far different results.
His match with Kevin "Kimbo Slice" Ferguson on Feb. 16 is the perfect vehicle for Abbott, though it would've been a lot more entertaining if they had met under Miami rules, back when Slice was still just fighting on instinct. As it stands, Slice is likely to catch a submission or TKO as soon as Abbott tires, which will be roughly around the time the first patron enters the arena.
Still, Abbott looked fairly slim on "Kimmel," and he nearly mutilated Gary Turner (Pictures) on two days' notice last year. If EliteXC is smart, it will maximize Abbott's remaining drawing power by pairing him in fights that are competitive from an age and ability standpoint. Ken Shamrock (Pictures) comes to mind, as does Don Frye (Pictures).
God help me, I'd even watch Abbott mix it up with Chuck Zito, an admission I'm sure I'll be begging Josh Gross to delete 24 hours from now.
To Kimmel's mind, though, Tank is in for a competitive fight. "[Kimbo] looks like a terrible monster," he told Abbott.
"But that's OK, because you're a terrible monster, too."
For comments, e-mail [email protected]
However, due to an unfortunate case of late-onset Attention Deficit Disorder, a bunch of subjects are getting tossed at the wall this week. If your reading options are limited to this and your girlfriend's Redbook, I pity you.
Advertisement
This weekend looks to be critical for the UFC's heavyweight division. In addition to the debut of Brock Lesnar (Pictures), UFC 81 is headlined by a title bout between Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (Pictures) and Tim Sylvia (Pictures), effectively the No. 2 fighters of their once-disparate organizations.
At the risk of crashing the mail servers, the winner of
Sylvia-Nogueira should get penciled in as the sport's top big guy.
Granted, Fedor
Emelianenko (Pictures) packed Nogueira's lunch on two
(and a half) occasions, and Randy Couture (Pictures) made Sylvia look like a
malfunctioning cyborg. But with both of those men in some kind of
weird, Steve Rogers-esque
suspended animation -- Couture for contractual reasons while
Emelianenko is being treated by M-1 Global as if he were made of
glass -- it's unfair to award either guy any measure of indefinite
honors.
Sylvia is an impressive 8-3 in the Octagon, a two-time champion who never once got the benefit of a squash match. Nogueira finished two men (Mirko "Cro Cop" and Semmy Schilt (Pictures)) that Emelianenko couldn't, and he split meetings with the one man (Josh Barnett (Pictures)) that remains a glaring omission on the Russian's record.
It's fine for Couture and his hypothetical adversary to prioritize administrative decisions that make sense for their careers, but business shouldn't be a factor in rankings. Sylvia and Nogueira are out there running the gauntlet. They deserve the recognition afforded to fighters who negotiate their standing with their fists, not their tax returns.
Brocked
No discussion of scale-tipping athletes would be complete without mentioning Lesnar, who will have his first real test as a combat artist this Saturday against the increasingly agile Frank Mir (Pictures).
Considering Lesnar's potential as one of the division's few truly charismatic competitors, it's more than a little puzzling that Zuffa would pair him with Mir, who is capable of taking the one place in the Octagon that Lesnar would find most comforting -- the mat -- and turn it into a highly volatile experience. That danger exists even after Mir's infamous motorcycle accident, which impaired his athleticism in proceeding bouts. In fact, the former heavyweight champion's last fight, against Antoni Hardonk (Pictures), was earmarked by some as the first time Mir had looked like himself again.
Unless something unusual happens, it's likely this fight will end up with Lesnar in Mir's guard, trying to turn his face into a Dali painting. And that's where Mir is most threatening, as evidenced by the oft-played footage of him snapping Sylvia's forearm like a breadstick.
To the UFC's way of thinking, Lesnar's muscular endurance -- formed by years on the collegiate wrestling circuit -- is likely to outperform Mir's notoriously shallow gas tank. If it goes more than a round, Lesnar is going to make Mir a permanent fixture of the canvas. But until then, it'll be the most dangerous five minutes of his many professional careers.
Nevada Tests Positive
Word broke this week that the Nevada State Athletic Commission, one of the country's most influential and competent assemblies, would soon begin randomly testing athletes for performance-enhancing drugs year-round.
I had previously harangued the boards for making minimal effort to screen out walking pharmacies; by testing only immediately before and after fights, you weed out only those who can't time their use correctly. It's only fair that Nevada should now be applauded for strengthening its program to include testing in the "off-season," when athletes might not necessarily be preparing for a bout.
With the threat of randomly seized urine being implemented, 2008 could be the year we see the cleanest physiques and most authentic constitutions in the sport's history. It could also mean a rise in the number of athletes getting injured during training and not being able to compete as often as they'd like. (Steroids, after all, are more about recovery than Popeye-sized forearms.)
As much as the fighters might stress over the new practice, it'll be the promoters who have the most to lose: If a fighter slotted for a big, advertised main event melts a Styrofoam cup with only weeks to go, it could substantially impact business. Since that also damages Nevada's bottom line (it collects taxes on bouts), it'll be interesting to see how the state times the spontaneous testing.
Tank Talk
I'll never forget the PR-on-mescaline approach SEG took during the early days of the UFC, with its hyperbolic ad copy and ominous warnings from the inimitable Bruce Beck. ("This is not an exhibition. This … is real." God, I miss you, Bruce.)
Of particular amusement was the sub-nickname SEG granted David "Tank" Abbott on one of its VHS box covers. If the sleeve was to be trusted, "Sherman" Tank Abbott was his handle. I'm sure Abbott is glad that never caught on.
Seeing the burly, lazy heavyweight on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" this week, I was again reminded why the public will never tire of him, no matter how many fights he drops. (He's 1-6 since his '03 comeback, if you're counting.) The guy has an undeniable, predatory charm. If you're not paying close attention, you can almost buy his claims that those losses were due to anything but a lack of fighting acumen, and that rematches fought in the murky streets of Huntington Beach would have far different results.
His match with Kevin "Kimbo Slice" Ferguson on Feb. 16 is the perfect vehicle for Abbott, though it would've been a lot more entertaining if they had met under Miami rules, back when Slice was still just fighting on instinct. As it stands, Slice is likely to catch a submission or TKO as soon as Abbott tires, which will be roughly around the time the first patron enters the arena.
Still, Abbott looked fairly slim on "Kimmel," and he nearly mutilated Gary Turner (Pictures) on two days' notice last year. If EliteXC is smart, it will maximize Abbott's remaining drawing power by pairing him in fights that are competitive from an age and ability standpoint. Ken Shamrock (Pictures) comes to mind, as does Don Frye (Pictures).
God help me, I'd even watch Abbott mix it up with Chuck Zito, an admission I'm sure I'll be begging Josh Gross to delete 24 hours from now.
To Kimmel's mind, though, Tank is in for a competitive fight. "[Kimbo] looks like a terrible monster," he told Abbott.
"But that's OK, because you're a terrible monster, too."
For comments, e-mail [email protected]
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