The 10 Most Embarrassing MMA Performances
Embarrassing
Jake Rossen Apr 28, 2008
Immortality was granted to Kalib Starnes (Pictures) at UFC 83, but for all the wrong
reasons.
In front of a career record audience of 20,000-plus, Starnes looked more cyclist than fighter, backpedaling against Nate Quarry and doing the equivalent of a day's roadwork on the canvas. The apathy to engage was so severe that the normally stoic Quarry began mocking him in the closing moments, faux-sprinting around the ring and shrugging his shoulders to an inflamed crowd.
(You thought the $44.95 was a sting for that fight? Try a couple of
grand for a 10th row seat.)
In a sport where self-preservation is understood to mean tapping or ducking, Starnes' performance is likely to earn him the title of MMA's Roberto Duran, a fighter forever reviled for what is perceived to be a gutless display of inaction. Like Duran, it's unlikely he knew how much he was soiling his reputation until it was too late.
In ascending order of audience Ipecac:
10. Matt Ghaffari (vs. Naoya Ogawa (Pictures), Aug. 8, 2002)
Olympic silver medal winner Ghaffari had a very imposing lineage to live up to: All of the collegiate-style wrestling champions that had entered MMA were physical specimens that seemed to chew nails and grapple cattle before stepping on the mats. Even in losses, they were hellacious competitors.
Ghaffari, in contrast, climbed into the ring for a bout with judo Olympian Ogawa looking like an animate yam, 350 pounds of engorged subcutaneous fat agitating with his every step. Slowed by central obesity, he ate several low kicks from Ogawa and finally a punch that had him cradling his eye socket and shunning any further engagement, rendered as battered as his pre-fight meal in less than two minutes.
Ghaffari's woeful performance depresses, but it's par for wilting Olympic athletes who frequently find themselves without meaningful income after years sacrificed pursuing a medal. He's on the motivational speaking circuit now, but I'd wager this fight isn't an anecdote he's too eager to share.
9. Cristian Quezada (vs. Marcelo Goncalves, Sept. 15, 1997)
Fatigue has beaten more men than strikes ever will, but it's usually a precursor to heavy offense that forces the referee to intervene.
Brazilian Quezada preferred to skip the preamble and head right for the finish line: After spending nearly seven minutes on the bottom of Goncalves in the opening round of an IVC tournament, he slipped into a standing clinch and then spontaneously decided he'd had enough, tapping Goncalves' back and prompting the infamous Fight Finder footnote of "Submission: No Apparent Reason."
8. Hugo Duarte (vs. Mark Kerr (Pictures), Oct. 11, 1998)
There was a time when fighting Mark Kerr (Pictures) was cause for State Farm to revoke your life insurance policy. He was inhumanly strong, athletic, skilled enough to plant your head through the ring's support beams -- and, we now know, possessed of more pharmaceuticals in his system than a Walgreen's terminal.
Brazilian luta livre specialist Duarte may have shown mettle in signing a contract to fight Kerr at the nadir of his destructive power, but it didn't take long for him to realize he'd be better off trying to submit a wild boar. After two rounds of punishment, Duarte began to slink his way out of the ring, prompting frequent restarts. When the referee grew tired of that, he began barking complaints (in Portuguese).
Unable to find sanctuary, Duarte finally resorted to feigning unconsciousness, dozing on the ring apron -- and briefly opening his eyes to make sure the referee was paying attention.
Kerr took the victory: TKO via thespian.
7. Travis Lutter (Pictures) (vs. Anderson Silva, Feb. 3, 2007)
A perfect example of the right talent in the wrong body: Lutter, who had impressively battled his way through a season of "The Ultimate Fighter" to earn a shot at middleweight champion Anderson Silva, was expected to take his good fortune with humility.
Instead, he showed up overweight and unable to strip off the excess mass in time for officials to make it a formal title bid. Robbing himself of what he had worked so hard to attain, Lutter proceeded to nearly beat Silva in the first round before folding into a wheezy, ill-conditioned heap in the second.
How someone with such a rarified opportunity can squelch it with a halfhearted training regimen remains a mystery. Lutter's ability deserves a better cardiovascular vessel.
6. Dan Severn (Pictures) (vs. Kimo Leopoldo (Pictures), Oct. 11, 1997)
While both men can share the blame for their awkward man-dance in front of Pride's inaugural crowd, the bulk of distain should fall on Severn's shoulders.
An accredited wrestler, he chose instead to put his rudimentary striking skills on display for 30 migraine-inducing minutes, forcing commentators Stephen Quadros and Bas Rutten (Pictures) to regard the fight as a master-class on how not to hit someone.
The fight was a draw, with Severn blaming the ring for his performance. Unless it was on hydraulics, the only guilty party is the Beast himself.
In front of a career record audience of 20,000-plus, Starnes looked more cyclist than fighter, backpedaling against Nate Quarry and doing the equivalent of a day's roadwork on the canvas. The apathy to engage was so severe that the normally stoic Quarry began mocking him in the closing moments, faux-sprinting around the ring and shrugging his shoulders to an inflamed crowd.
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In a sport where self-preservation is understood to mean tapping or ducking, Starnes' performance is likely to earn him the title of MMA's Roberto Duran, a fighter forever reviled for what is perceived to be a gutless display of inaction. Like Duran, it's unlikely he knew how much he was soiling his reputation until it was too late.
The same goes for these other athletes, who for whatever reason --
injury, illness or just plain cage fright -- saw their stock
plummet after hollow displays of valor.
In ascending order of audience Ipecac:
10. Matt Ghaffari (vs. Naoya Ogawa (Pictures), Aug. 8, 2002)
Olympic silver medal winner Ghaffari had a very imposing lineage to live up to: All of the collegiate-style wrestling champions that had entered MMA were physical specimens that seemed to chew nails and grapple cattle before stepping on the mats. Even in losses, they were hellacious competitors.
Ghaffari, in contrast, climbed into the ring for a bout with judo Olympian Ogawa looking like an animate yam, 350 pounds of engorged subcutaneous fat agitating with his every step. Slowed by central obesity, he ate several low kicks from Ogawa and finally a punch that had him cradling his eye socket and shunning any further engagement, rendered as battered as his pre-fight meal in less than two minutes.
Ghaffari's woeful performance depresses, but it's par for wilting Olympic athletes who frequently find themselves without meaningful income after years sacrificed pursuing a medal. He's on the motivational speaking circuit now, but I'd wager this fight isn't an anecdote he's too eager to share.
9. Cristian Quezada (vs. Marcelo Goncalves, Sept. 15, 1997)
Fatigue has beaten more men than strikes ever will, but it's usually a precursor to heavy offense that forces the referee to intervene.
Brazilian Quezada preferred to skip the preamble and head right for the finish line: After spending nearly seven minutes on the bottom of Goncalves in the opening round of an IVC tournament, he slipped into a standing clinch and then spontaneously decided he'd had enough, tapping Goncalves' back and prompting the infamous Fight Finder footnote of "Submission: No Apparent Reason."
8. Hugo Duarte (vs. Mark Kerr (Pictures), Oct. 11, 1998)
There was a time when fighting Mark Kerr (Pictures) was cause for State Farm to revoke your life insurance policy. He was inhumanly strong, athletic, skilled enough to plant your head through the ring's support beams -- and, we now know, possessed of more pharmaceuticals in his system than a Walgreen's terminal.
Brazilian luta livre specialist Duarte may have shown mettle in signing a contract to fight Kerr at the nadir of his destructive power, but it didn't take long for him to realize he'd be better off trying to submit a wild boar. After two rounds of punishment, Duarte began to slink his way out of the ring, prompting frequent restarts. When the referee grew tired of that, he began barking complaints (in Portuguese).
Unable to find sanctuary, Duarte finally resorted to feigning unconsciousness, dozing on the ring apron -- and briefly opening his eyes to make sure the referee was paying attention.
Kerr took the victory: TKO via thespian.
7. Travis Lutter (Pictures) (vs. Anderson Silva, Feb. 3, 2007)
A perfect example of the right talent in the wrong body: Lutter, who had impressively battled his way through a season of "The Ultimate Fighter" to earn a shot at middleweight champion Anderson Silva, was expected to take his good fortune with humility.
Instead, he showed up overweight and unable to strip off the excess mass in time for officials to make it a formal title bid. Robbing himself of what he had worked so hard to attain, Lutter proceeded to nearly beat Silva in the first round before folding into a wheezy, ill-conditioned heap in the second.
How someone with such a rarified opportunity can squelch it with a halfhearted training regimen remains a mystery. Lutter's ability deserves a better cardiovascular vessel.
6. Dan Severn (Pictures) (vs. Kimo Leopoldo (Pictures), Oct. 11, 1997)
While both men can share the blame for their awkward man-dance in front of Pride's inaugural crowd, the bulk of distain should fall on Severn's shoulders.
An accredited wrestler, he chose instead to put his rudimentary striking skills on display for 30 migraine-inducing minutes, forcing commentators Stephen Quadros and Bas Rutten (Pictures) to regard the fight as a master-class on how not to hit someone.
The fight was a draw, with Severn blaming the ring for his performance. Unless it was on hydraulics, the only guilty party is the Beast himself.
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