My Experience -- A Fighter's Essay

To most this phrase seems ludicrous, it defies everything that we as humans have ever been taught. Through typical thought process it seems to defy our nature, not as humans but even as animals. The animal that is able to fight longer and harder is assured a mate, therefore insuring his genes will continue. Not only does this seem to go against the conditioning of our win-at-all-cost society, but it at some level would be an admission of failure.

Give up hope for a better tomorrow -- this is loser talk, the words of a bum on the street, an addict, a drone. Give up the dream ... search for hopelessness: These are not the words of a man who bleeds in the ring time and time again.

Give up hope? Without hope how does a man stand back up when he has been knocked down by life? Without hope how can a man stand at all? Why get out of bed in the morning? Why care about anything if there is no hope, no dream, no future? These words, phrases, ideas had drifted in and out of my brain for some time, unable to grasp their meaning, but yet I was somehow able to taste their potency.

They floated on top of my brain as if waiting for the exact moment that my mind would open up and let them fill my soul. This moment came only a month ago. It was while my training partner, Jeremy Horn, and I were standing in Seoul's airport after we had each fought.