Sherdog.com’s Guide to the Ultimate Fighter

If you're like me you are a fan of suspenseful mysteries like Murder She Wrote. Or maybe you prefer The Learning Channel, where you can find all the medical oddities you may need. Who doesn't like staring at a one-ton man or the occasional child born with a beak?

This week's episode contained both gripping mystery and a crash course in infectious disease.

I'd hoped that Pete Spratt (Pictures) and Chris Lytle (Pictures) might have a stand-up war on last week's episode. Mr. Lytle dashed my hopes as he made quick work of Spratt on the ground. Lytle put himself in the semifinals and despite the deep talent pool, I expect he'll end up in the finals.

All of the middleweights are busy speculating on who will be chosen to fight next. For a lot of fearless guys, they sure seem to chew their nails when it comes to match-ups. None of these vets want to get stuck fighting someone who can prey on their weaknesses.

With all the mystery in the air some verbal sparring commences and everything is all funny until Travis Lutter (Pictures) calls Pete Sell (Pictures) a bitch. Now while it's never really funny to be called a bitch, it's even less funny when it's a UFC veteran saying it. Turns out, Pete doesn't like to be called that. Pete eats some chips out of a bag and plots on Travis.

Scott Smith (Scott Smith' class='LinkSilver'>Pictures) decides to show off a nice — and by nice I mean “nasty” — looking rash on his armpit. Patrick Cote (Pictures) has some bumps too, then Jeremy Jackson (Pictures), then more bumps, and finally perhaps traced to Pete Sell (Pictures)'s big toe.

It's only natural. Sixteen filthy animals move into one house, share bathrooms, then it's off to the training mats where they basically roll around like playfully mean primates until God knows what spreads all over their bodies.

There's nothing worse than when some high school wrestling team shows up at the school nurse’s office with the same infection. It raises questions. Next thing you know the rash is the least of your worries.

Since Pete and Scott seem to have it the worst they are carted off to the E.R. to get some treatment. Once they return it is announced that they have the dreaded Staphylococcus infection. (Go ahead, sound it out when you read it or you can just call it Staph. Staph is one of life's sweetest rewards.) More infectious discussion ensues and Matt Serra (Pictures) starts talking about getting worms. One of the most frightening photos I've ever seen is some guy with a tapeworm wrapping a pencil as it leaves a sore in his body. It's haunted me for years.

Jeremy Jackson (Pictures) is my hero. This guy is a good fighter with a troubled life. He confesses to Din Thomas (Pictures) some of the sadder details. He's been down and out before and was living out of his car before he came onto the show. Jeremy is counting on this show to put him back on track. Now is the time where you cue something from the "8 Mile" soundtrack.

Georges St. Pierre (Pictures) took one of the teams to the Y or at least something like the YMCA. The guys got a change of pace as they spent the day splashing in the pool, awkwardly dribbling basketballs and planning a sexual rendezvous.

Yes, you heard me.

Jeremy Jackson (Pictures) apparently made a special connection with one of the lifeguards at the gym. Jeremy, being a hopeless romantic, decides to pull a Rand McNally and draws a map to the TUF house for the eager young lady.

Like any good mapmaker, he makes sure to point out the area behind the fence where he would like her to meet him. Jeremy must have known that there was a weakness in the perimeter or maybe Dana's twin Dobermans, Zeus and Apollo, just don't run there.

Either way, when the clock turned midnight, several of the TUF fighters were still sitting around the fire outside. Jeremy furtively glances around — with all this heat on him he's not too sure about his plan. Jeremy finally decides to make his move and pretends that he will retire to bed.

This suggestive gesture would have made the most cynical hypnotist proud. One by one his fellow fighters decide to bed down for the night and ever so slyly, Jeremy excuses himself to the yard. Once there he makes a clandestine escape (except for the constant eye of the cameras and the producers that feed off of them) over the fence to the waiting arms of a lifeguard who probably sounded like she was in distress within only a few minutes.

Leaving the house is a strict no-no, so I'm sure you can see what happens next. The morning training session is canceled and it doesn't take long for Jeremy's secret to get around. When Dana shows up he gives one of his typical "opportunity" speeches that he seems to have to give far too often. When he finishes his usual speech, Jeremy is told to pack his bags and is given the boot.

(I know what you're saying, "Why waste the opportunity to be back in the UFC just for a simple one night stand?” Well just e-mail me your size and I'll send you a pretty sundress, OK honey? He did it because he's a man and that's what men do. We scheme; we lie to friends; we sneak away and we jump fences. Why? We do it because there's a perfectly good and willing female just waiting on the other side of that fence. We're not proud of it.)

So Jeremy is removed and everyone is mind-blown that Jeremy would pull such a dumb stunt. He leaves the show with an uncertain future.

The Staph infections are still spreading across the show. Almost half of the contestants now have bumps in unpleasant areas. While the training ground is cleaned to stop the epidemic, the teams gather to make their choices for the next fight.

Team Mojo decides to pit Smith against Lutter.

Lutter is considered by some to be one of the better members of Team No Love, so it is an interesting choice.

Smith was robbed in his UFC fight against David Terrell (Pictures). Terrell took advantage of poor refereeing and was able to submit Scott.

Travis Lutter (Pictures) has had some ups and downs after knocking out Marvin Eastman (Pictures) and then getting choked out by Matt Lindland (Pictures).

Going into the fight Lutter wants to put Scott on the ground so that his BJJ will dominate, and Scott's depending on his takedown defense to keep that from happening.

Well kids, Lutter got what he wanted. Travis was able to get behind Scott and take him to the ground and after a few punches sunk in a choke/crank of some sort that ended this one rather peacefully. So that makes for two quick fights in two weeks and we were all left wanting just a bit more.

So tonight I want you all to pause before you go to bed. Take time to think about The Ultimate Fighter and how you'd like to have a better fight next week. Make sure to also take time to think about Staph infections as well because you can never be too careful.