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The Fight Stuff

Sherdog Economics 101: with financial success in a newly paved genre come ancillary parasites (and I use the word with affection, promise) that try to piggyback on the popularity of a market leader.

It's why Harry Potter and the Something of Etc. was followed by roughly 50 shamelessly derivative knockoffs. (My favorite: Barry Hatter and the Sorcerer's Broomstick, a Playstation 2 game of questionable originality.)

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It's also why, thanks to the money tree known as the Ultimate Fighting Championship, there's a surplus of fight-related material on both the dial and store shelves.

Because Sherdog.com cares deeply about its readership, and because Rickson Gracie won't return my phone calls for an interview, here's a sampling of what MMA-related content might be worth your time.

Or not.

Human Weapon (History Channel, Fridays @ 10 p.m. ET)
There is something undeniably compelling about watching an American get beaten about the head with a rattan stick by a Filipino Escrima specialist. Call it modified foreign relations.

Though most MMA fans tend to stick their noses at traditional arts that offer little real-world practicality, systems like Karate and Kung Fu are steeped in rich historical relevance. If it weren't for crescent kicks, we may not have gotten to jiu-jitsu.

The History Channel's Human Weapon sends two affable hosts (NFL veteran and general lummox Bill Duff and pro MMA athlete Jason Chambers (Pictures)) around the world, soaking up the philosophies and techniques of arts both archaic and brutally efficient. (If you haven't seen Thai boxing in Bangkok, you're probably not as desensitized to violence as you think.)

Duff and Chambers have thus far studied Escrima in the Philippines and Muay Thai in Thailand, while future episodes promise excursions into Savate and Krav Maga. It's a spirited history lesson, one that frequently ends in sore knuckles and ice packs.

Only quibble: the climactic bouts, in which one of the hosts engages a specialist in the highlighted discipline, are just a shade above sparring. Insurance mandates aside, Human Weapon is nicely produced, and definitely preferable to Friends reruns.

Then again, a gastric bypass would be preferable to Friends reruns.

TapouT (Versus, Wednesdays @ 10 p.m. ET)
My tolerance level for spastic attention-seekers is notoriously low: if you need to wear face paint to go grocery shopping, I don't think I want to know you.

The TapouT crew, alternately praised and reviled in MMA circles for being bombastic self-promoters, has a summer series on the fledging Versus network, following pre-packaged WEC programming on Wednesday nights. And while the sight of a guy in camouflage and his buddy in a rainbow-colored Afro wig may not light your synapses on fire, it's actually not half-bad.

"Mask" (aka Charles Lewis) runs the TapouT clothing company, and the docu series follows his tour bus as he sponsors rookie athletes and tries to be a diplomat with established talent like Matt Serra (Pictures) and Rich Franklin (Pictures). (Franklin incurred their passive-aggressive wrath for not sipping from a TapouT water flask post-fight, as per their agreement.)

Lewis, while not everyone's cup of hyper, comes off as a genuinely good guy and ardent supporter of the sport. It's hard to dislike someone who's clearly made a difference in whether some struggling fighters paid their electric bill on time or not.

Produced by Ultimate Fighter and Survivor chair Craig Piligian, it's a slick set-up, one that offers a more intimate perspective of the business side of the sport than we're used to. Assuming you can get past the war paint, it's well worth checking out.

YouTube Commentators
Stop. Please -- just stop.

Affliction Clothing
"If I see one more Affliction t-shirt," opined Joe Rogan on a recent UFC telecast, "I might throw up."

For Rogan and others who share his mindset, Affliction is a kind of cotton Ipecac, a disturbingly pervasive clothing line that's gotten a staggering amount of attention in pop culture. Its Web site sports photographic endorsements from such luminaries as Chuck Liddell (Pictures), Jamie Foxx, and Paris Hilton. Prices range from $40 for a t-shirt to $220 for a pair of jeans. Their "Fall Preview" promises the addition (or threat, depending one one's perspective) of boots and leather jackets.

Much of the wares resemble discarded apparel from a Motley Crue concert circa 1988, full of skulls, flames, and a general aura of antisocial menace. While my clothing style could be best described as Nerd Couture, with my most prized shirt featuring a ghastly red Coca-Cola logo written in Kanji, Affliction still strikes me as a line that's quickly overstaying its welcome.

A friend let me borrow a t-shirt, one featuring an army of skeletons riding into battle on horseback. Curious stares came from the bank teller (who furrowed her brow, likely disenfranchised with today's youth culture) and the Dunkin' Donuts cashier, who probably thought I was an unlikely candidate for a croissant. (I wasn't.)

After running errands for a few hours, I felt like playing Dungeons and Dragons, embracing witchcraft, and then hanging myself while Ozzy Osbourne's Bloodbath in Paradise plays backwards on my old LP turntable.

I think I'll stick to Nike.

For comments, email [email protected]
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