Thankfully, UFC 73 "Stacked" isn't some sort of bizarre cross promotion with Pamela Anderson's failed Fox sitcom (is there any other kind?). Instead, hardcore and casual MMA fans alike will be treated to the kind of card that Dana White has been promising us all along.

The card is highlighted by a pair of pivotal title fights in the middleweight and lightweight division as well as a co-headlining bout between the acerbic Tito Ortiz (Pictures) and the latest object of his ire, Ultimate Fighter 2 champion Rashad Evans (Pictures). We also get to see the UFC debut of this "Minotauro" guy -- I hear he's supposed to be pretty good.

But all you bellyachers out there fear not! There are plenty of TUF alumni for you to complain about, and who doesn't love making fun of Heath Herring (Pictures)? In fact, I propose we name this card "UFC 73: Heath Herring (Pictures) is not a homosexual."

Not so much?

Alright, you'll have to settle for the usual fight analysis punctuated by esoteric jokes that appeal only to people who have memorized seasons 1-8 of The Simpsons. Read on and pass off my predictions as your own.