This Wednesday night at 7 p.m. ET/PT on SpikeTV, every MMA fan with a cable box and no social life will be stationed in front of the trusty tube ready to take in by far the finest UFC Fight Night card to date.

With a main card that features the "Lau" trying to stop the "Flo" and a welterweight showdown that pits two of the division's most exciting regulars, you simply can't go wrong forsaking any real world responsibilities in favor of watching this show live.

Heck, I quit my regular job to make sure I wouldn't be distracted. Sure, my record says I was released after that incident with the vending machine, but selective memory is an amazing thing.

Keeping that in mind, read on and only remember the parts you really like. I'd say to remember the parts I'm right about too, but that ain't happening.

Kenny Florian (Pictures) vs. Joe Lauzon (Pictures)

As the lightweight division gradually settles into focus, the race for contender status is starting to resemble the Cold War arms race with every lightweight in sight scrambling to rack up quality wins.

Expect the Cold War to turn hot when a pair of UFC regulars face off in a bout that could mean a future title shot for the winner. The road to such validation has been a long and winding one for both Kenny "Ken-Flo" Florian and Joe "J-Lau" Lauzon considering the hostile welcome their kind often receives in the UFC.

By "their kind" I don't mean fighters who use contractions of their full names as nicknames -- although that is a heinous act -- but fighters who punched their UFC tickets via every MMA fan's favorite reality TV juggernaut.

A cast member on the very first season of "The Ultimate Fighter," Florian (8-3) was forced to compete as a middleweight and somehow managed to reach the division finals on an improbable combination of gusto and moxie. Now safely entrenched in the lightweight division, he has moved past his days as a James J. Braddock-level underdog and transformed into a promising prospect with dominating wins over Alvin Robinson (Pictures) and Dokonjonosuke Mishima (Pictures).

The real crucible of Florian's worth, however, came against long-time UFC contender and premier pop locker Din Thomas (Pictures). While the bout was tainted by a disastrous knee injury suffered by Thomas, Florian nonetheless established that he could more than hold his own against the savvy old-timers that populate the UFC.

Although Florian got to work his way into contention, Lauzon (16-3) was thrown to the wolves from the word go. His UFC debut saw him matched against former lightweight champion Jens Pulver (Pictures).

If the UFC expected Lauzon to roll over and play dead for Pulver, no one sent the news over to "J-Lau," who overwhelmed the former champion early in the first round with his unique brand of youthful ultra-violence.

Lauzon's next move was an unsuccessful stint in "The Ultimate Fighter" house, which ended with a loss to Manvel Gamburyan (Pictures) in the show's semifinals. Thankfully, the UFC realized the value of keeping a network administrator on the active roster, and Lauzon has gone on to score one-sided submission wins over borderline contenders such as Brandon Melendez (Pictures) and Jason Reinhardt (Pictures).

That newfound submission prowess is widely credited to Lauzon's decision to move out to Hilo, Hawaii, and train under Brazilian jiu-jitsu prodigy B.J. Penn (Pictures). Against Florian, he will need all the help he can get.

Most fighters would be hard-pressed surviving Lauzon's trademark opening offensive onslaught, but Florian excels at controlling the tempo and terms of his bouts and has shown a knack for exploiting the holes in his opponent's style. If anything, Lauzon's habit of storming out of the gate will work against him as Florian quickly turns danger into opportunity by scoring a takedown and working his vicious and varied ground-and-pound on an overmatched opponent.

Lauzon's first move will turn out to be his worst. Florian takes a first-round TKO win with a bloody blitz of mounted elbows. Given Florian's propensity for drawing blood, can someone please get him to ditch "Ken-Flo" for "Blood-Flo"?

Just make sure I get my cut on merchandising.