While Abbott's athletic potential has long since drowned in a pool of vodka-cranberry concoctions, he could usually be counted upon for a fierce assault for as long as his shrunken lungs could manage.
Not the case against the equally bulbous Ferrozzo: As fans in Georgia crowed, Abbott spent the majority of the 15-minute bout trapping Ferrozzo against the fence and shutting down strikes without meting out any of his own.
Abbott's knee was shot: a valid excuse, but a disappointing sight for fans who expected a little more tread out of the Tank.
If his career full of disreputable actions is any indication, Yvel took the UFC's marketing tact of "no rules" and never bothered seeking further clarification.
Against a returning Frye, he was all too eager to perform amateur optometry, sticking his fingers in Frye's sockets until the referee finally had to wave off any further penetration.
Yvel appeared annoyed by the premature stoppage, which only adds to the audience's astonishment -- and Yvel's status as MMA's Andrew Golota.
It takes a big man to cry and an even bigger one to do it in front of thousands of people.
Sapp, who looks less like a human and more like a Macy's parade float, had no compunction about begging his corner not to send him out for more punishment against human weapon LeBanner, who was busy pounding him during the standup portion of a hybrid K-1/MMA contest on New Year's Eve.
Sapp eventually finished the fight -- a draw -- but it was startling to see a combat athlete reduced to near-tears between rounds.
It's inadvisable to generalize nationalities, but not unkind to suggest that the Japanese are a fiercely combative lot. Pop in a random Pride disc and you're likely to find multiple examples of Eastern fighters swinging long after lungs have collapsed and eyes have swelled shut.
That's why it was particularly noxious to see pro wrestling hero Takada splayed out in the missionary position for the majority of his fight with destructive striker Filipovic. Rather than risk breaking an orbital against the power of the kickboxer's swinging shins, Takada opted to flop immediately to his back and remain there for virtually the entire 15 minutes, rising only to meet the end of a round.
The narcoleptic cowardice resulted in the crowd in Tokyo booing their icon, unheard-of in that formal and rigidly patient culture.
John McCain and Cablevision President Leo Hindry didn't euthanize MMA in the mid-1990s all by themselves. These two gave them a hand.
By the time UFC 9 had rolled around, SEG had proven it could survive -- even thrive -- in the absence of everyman avatar
Royce Gracie (Pictures). But political woes diluted the UFC's debut in Detroit; under pressure from politicos, fighters were cautioned not to strike with a closed fist.
It was a facetious order, as fighters that did (virtually all of them) would only be fined a nominal sum for the infraction.
For reasons known only to himself,
Ken Shamrock (Pictures) took that decree literally and refused to engage with
Dan Severn (Pictures) for practically the entire 30-minute duration; Severn responded by staying at least five feet away from Shamrock at all times.
The result was the UFC's Hindenburg, a main event so putrid that buy rates evaporated with the very next show. Watch it and understand how we get so many people in Guantanamo to talk.
For comments, e-mail jrossen@sherdog.com
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