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Sean Sherk (Pictures) sleeps soundly at night, like a
man who has come to grips with all he has lost in a matter of
months.
The 34-year-old married father of two no longer struggles with his immediate past, now 10 months removed from the positive steroids test that brought him to his knees and resulted in his being stripped of the UFC lightweight championship. Brushed aside by fans, chastised by the media and vilified by many of his peers, Sherk acknowledges the fallout may have permanently soiled his reputation.
"A lot of fans out there think I [took steroids], and I'm not going to change their minds," Sherk says. "It's going to take time to repair that."
Sherk spent countless hours in deep thought while struggling to put the pieces of his career back in place. He appealed his failed drug test before the California State Athletic Commission in December, and although it reduced his suspension from one year to six months, the ruling failed to vindicate him fully. A perception of guilt continued to shadow the once-proud champion.
"It was like a bad dream," he says. "It took me a while to realize what was going on. I never imagined in a million years that I'd test positive. It made me lose faith in the system, because I know the system doesn't work. The commission is the judge, jury and prosecutor. How am I supposed to defend myself against that?"
Adversity sapped Sherk of his drive, as frustration mounted within a man whose chiseled body seems sculpted by Michelangelo himself. According to those closest to him, reality bit hard.
"I think at first it affected his motivation," says Bodog Fight welterweight champion Nick Thompson (Pictures), Sherk's teammate at the Minnesota Martial Arts Academy. "Why try if success is going to be attributed not to his work ethic but rather to steroids? I completely understand how he felt. What surprised me was how quickly he resolved to push himself even harder than he had before."
Sherk channeled his anger into long hours at the gym, and soon he returned to form through his legendary training sessions. Time away from competition allowed for nagging injuries to heal, but his flame had been lit.
"Sean is the hardest worker I know," Thompson says. "I think he's now taken the attitude that he has something to prove to everyone. Now he's not pushing himself just out of a sense of pride; he wants to show everyone who doubts him how wrong they are."
As he flew over the Atlantic Ocean in January -- bound for Newcastle, England, where he planned to watch B.J. Penn (Pictures) and Joe Stevenson fight over the belt he once wore -- Sherk mapped out his strategy. A hunch told him Penn might find him in the crosshairs, and, sure enough, after the popular Hawaiian submitted Stevenson with a second-round choke, he took the microphone and fired the first salvo in what would become a lengthy war of words with the Minnesotan.
"Sean Sherk (Pictures)," Penn said, "you're dead."
Seated cageside as an on-air analyst for the pay-per-view broadcast of UFC 80, Sherk put aside his headset, walked into the Octagon and answered Penn's rhetoric with some of his own. Sportsmanship took a backseat.
"I knew he was going to do it," Sherk says. "That's why I flew all the way out to England. I wanted to be there to defend myself in person."
Their feud escalated in the days, weeks and months that followed. Penn labeled Sherk a cheater who had "perverted" the sport to which he had dedicated his life. Sherk answered on his end, casting doubt on Penn's heart, fortitude and desire.
It all pointed to this Saturday, when Sherk (32-2-1) will challenge Penn for the lightweight crown in the main event of UFC 84 at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas. Sherk wants nothing more than to leave the 29-year-old champion a beaten man inside the cage and thinks his strengths line up favorably with Penn's weaknesses.
"His cardio's really bad, and I don't see a lot of heart there," says Sherk, who has lost only one of his 12 fights that have gone the distance. "When the going gets tough, he tends to quit, and there's not a situation, mentally or physically, that can make me quit when I step in that cage."
One of the sport's most dynamic and physically gifted competitors, Penn intensified his pre-fight attacks by questioning whether Sherk deserved to be a champion in light of his positive test for suspected steroid use. Sherk claims he has learned to ignore Penn's antics, viewing them as an attempt to bait him into an emotional tug-of-war.
"He's just one of those guys," he says. "I know he's talked a lot of garbage about me. He definitely wants to believe I took something because he doesn't have the work ethic I do. His theory is if you look like I do, you have to be on something."
Sherk's credentials are undeniable. Undefeated at 155 pounds, he suffered the lone defeats on his resume to reigning UFC welterweight champion Georges St. Pierre (Pictures) -- arguably the top pound-for-pound fighter in the world -- and future UFC Hall-of-Famer Matt Hughes (Pictures). He will enter his match against Penn with 15 wins in his last 16 fights, his latest conquest coming at the expense of former World Extreme Cagefighting lightweight titleholder Hermes Franca (Pictures) last summer.
Recognition, however, has proven elusive.
"I look at some of these rankings, and I'm still not on some of them," Sherk says. "What sense does that make? People say I don't have any credentials because I dropped down to lightweight, but I've got credentials as a welterweight. Those don't follow me?"
A touch of bitterness clings to Sherk's voice, though he appears to have moved past his season of resentment. He understands many will view him as the Joker to Penn's Batman when he walks into the cage in Las Vegas for a fight that may define his career and could determine the course of the UFC lightweight division for years to come.
"Everyone's entitled to their opinion, but I've been nothing but respectful," Sherk says. "I'm just a working guy trying to support my family. I carry myself better as a professional than [Penn] does. There's no reason to see me as the villain."
The 34-year-old married father of two no longer struggles with his immediate past, now 10 months removed from the positive steroids test that brought him to his knees and resulted in his being stripped of the UFC lightweight championship. Brushed aside by fans, chastised by the media and vilified by many of his peers, Sherk acknowledges the fallout may have permanently soiled his reputation.
"A lot of fans out there think I [took steroids], and I'm not going to change their minds," Sherk says. "It's going to take time to repair that."
Sherk spent countless hours in deep thought while struggling to put the pieces of his career back in place. He appealed his failed drug test before the California State Athletic Commission in December, and although it reduced his suspension from one year to six months, the ruling failed to vindicate him fully. A perception of guilt continued to shadow the once-proud champion.
"It was like a bad dream," he says. "It took me a while to realize what was going on. I never imagined in a million years that I'd test positive. It made me lose faith in the system, because I know the system doesn't work. The commission is the judge, jury and prosecutor. How am I supposed to defend myself against that?"
Adversity sapped Sherk of his drive, as frustration mounted within a man whose chiseled body seems sculpted by Michelangelo himself. According to those closest to him, reality bit hard.
"I think at first it affected his motivation," says Bodog Fight welterweight champion Nick Thompson (Pictures), Sherk's teammate at the Minnesota Martial Arts Academy. "Why try if success is going to be attributed not to his work ethic but rather to steroids? I completely understand how he felt. What surprised me was how quickly he resolved to push himself even harder than he had before."
Sherk channeled his anger into long hours at the gym, and soon he returned to form through his legendary training sessions. Time away from competition allowed for nagging injuries to heal, but his flame had been lit.
"Sean is the hardest worker I know," Thompson says. "I think he's now taken the attitude that he has something to prove to everyone. Now he's not pushing himself just out of a sense of pride; he wants to show everyone who doubts him how wrong they are."
As he flew over the Atlantic Ocean in January -- bound for Newcastle, England, where he planned to watch B.J. Penn (Pictures) and Joe Stevenson fight over the belt he once wore -- Sherk mapped out his strategy. A hunch told him Penn might find him in the crosshairs, and, sure enough, after the popular Hawaiian submitted Stevenson with a second-round choke, he took the microphone and fired the first salvo in what would become a lengthy war of words with the Minnesotan.
"Sean Sherk (Pictures)," Penn said, "you're dead."
Seated cageside as an on-air analyst for the pay-per-view broadcast of UFC 80, Sherk put aside his headset, walked into the Octagon and answered Penn's rhetoric with some of his own. Sportsmanship took a backseat.
"I knew he was going to do it," Sherk says. "That's why I flew all the way out to England. I wanted to be there to defend myself in person."
Their feud escalated in the days, weeks and months that followed. Penn labeled Sherk a cheater who had "perverted" the sport to which he had dedicated his life. Sherk answered on his end, casting doubt on Penn's heart, fortitude and desire.
It all pointed to this Saturday, when Sherk (32-2-1) will challenge Penn for the lightweight crown in the main event of UFC 84 at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas. Sherk wants nothing more than to leave the 29-year-old champion a beaten man inside the cage and thinks his strengths line up favorably with Penn's weaknesses.
"His cardio's really bad, and I don't see a lot of heart there," says Sherk, who has lost only one of his 12 fights that have gone the distance. "When the going gets tough, he tends to quit, and there's not a situation, mentally or physically, that can make me quit when I step in that cage."
One of the sport's most dynamic and physically gifted competitors, Penn intensified his pre-fight attacks by questioning whether Sherk deserved to be a champion in light of his positive test for suspected steroid use. Sherk claims he has learned to ignore Penn's antics, viewing them as an attempt to bait him into an emotional tug-of-war.
"He's just one of those guys," he says. "I know he's talked a lot of garbage about me. He definitely wants to believe I took something because he doesn't have the work ethic I do. His theory is if you look like I do, you have to be on something."
Sherk's credentials are undeniable. Undefeated at 155 pounds, he suffered the lone defeats on his resume to reigning UFC welterweight champion Georges St. Pierre (Pictures) -- arguably the top pound-for-pound fighter in the world -- and future UFC Hall-of-Famer Matt Hughes (Pictures). He will enter his match against Penn with 15 wins in his last 16 fights, his latest conquest coming at the expense of former World Extreme Cagefighting lightweight titleholder Hermes Franca (Pictures) last summer.
Recognition, however, has proven elusive.
"I look at some of these rankings, and I'm still not on some of them," Sherk says. "What sense does that make? People say I don't have any credentials because I dropped down to lightweight, but I've got credentials as a welterweight. Those don't follow me?"
A touch of bitterness clings to Sherk's voice, though he appears to have moved past his season of resentment. He understands many will view him as the Joker to Penn's Batman when he walks into the cage in Las Vegas for a fight that may define his career and could determine the course of the UFC lightweight division for years to come.
"Everyone's entitled to their opinion, but I've been nothing but respectful," Sherk says. "I'm just a working guy trying to support my family. I carry myself better as a professional than [Penn] does. There's no reason to see me as the villain."
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