Tonight's episode of The Ultimate Fighter 5 kicks off with Brandon Melendez (Pictures) being hounded and squawked at by coach Jens Pulver (Pictures). Melendez is scheduled to fight on the show tonight but his hand has been killing him during training. However, Pulver picks up on what he believes to be a slack job filled with lack of motivation and grills him relentlessly.

Melendez tries to explain his attitude and frustrations to Pulver, who is standing on the ring apron directly across from his pupil. Pulver refuses to listen to Melendez as he pleads his case about a possible broken hand and how he doesn't want to injure himself during training, which would, of course, jeopardize his chances of becoming a genuine ultimate fighter.

Melendez, who looks kind of like a tougher, bulkier version of Perry Farrell, is disgusted with his coach and is contemplating that if roommate Joe Lauzon (Pictures) can beat Pulver, so can he.

"Lil Evil" scoffs at the notion of a broken hand and explains to the viewing audience that he has had to endure the wrath of 14 broken left hands and if he can do it, you darn better believe Melendez can, too.

The tension festers almost to the point of combustion until Pulver, realizing he struck a nerve with the already on-edge Melendez, comforts his emotional fighter by explaining why he has been riding him so hard. Melendez probably forgot that Pulver is a former world champion and one of the staples of the legendary Miletich Fighting Systems, a team renowned for its crippling training that has bred countless champions.

On the other hand, B.J. Penn (Pictures) is smitten with how well Gray Maynard (Pictures) is doing and predicted that his student could win the entire show. Penn is blown away at how astutely Maynard listens and gushes at how well the two get along.

When comparing their relationship to that of Pulver and Melendez, it seems like Penn is ready to scoop Gray up into his arms and carry him through the threshold.

Nate Diaz, who will be fighting on next week's episode, has been pulling pranks on roommate Cole Miller (Pictures). Miller can't get a good night's sleep as the Stockton native has a habit of waking him up on a regular basis by screaming at, tugging at and punching him during his slumber.

To settle the score and avenge his interrupted sleep times, Miller decides to ransack Diaz's room and fill it with silly string and piñatas, capped off with a dagger that has been thrust through an evil letter of caution.

Naturally, Diaz counters by bombarding Miller in a friendly fight of shaving cream-laced mixed martial arts followed by throwing Miller's mattress into the pool. Miller copycats move and a truce materialized. That is, until Miller got "antiqued" -- basically attacked with ice-cold water and then a bottle of baby powder -- by Diaz in the middle of the night. Finally, a real truce was enacted.

Back to the fight itself. Melendez once again has beef with Pulver and the training regimen, so he decides to step aside with Pulver and the rest of the main coaches. He iterates that he thinks it'd be a nifty idea to switch over to Team Penn so he can get the best out of his training. Pulver, with red eyes and smoking ears, wanted nothing to do with it and told Melendez to pound sand, he is staying on the team regardless.

In the end, Melendez understood Pulver, they hugged and resumed training, even though Melendez still was probably hoping Pulver would trip over one of the camera cords and break his left hand for the 15th time.

Maynard, on the other hand, is training while an angel is playing a harp in the background and doves are fluttering about the ring. I think I see some cartoon hearts popping in mid-air, too, and to make matters even better, Penn treats Maynard by inviting UFC legend Randy Couture (Pictures) in to help. Training couldn't be better on Team Penn's side. I think Penn just tattooed Maynard's face on his bicep.

Melendez had a difficult time making weight but unlike former teammate Gabe Ruediger (Pictures), he clocks in under the lightweight limit.

The two finally make it inside the Octagon and fireworks are expected. Maynard's plan is to throw Melendez to the mat and pound on him while Brandon's goal is to keep the fight standing so he can knock Gray's head into referee Steve Mazzagatti's LAPD mustache.

Maynard quickly scores a beautiful takedown and begins working for submissions in between series of strikes. Melendez showed good ground experience and avoided literally every submission attempt thrown his way. The first round was a back-and-forth battle, but Maynard's explosiveness and several takedowns were the difference.

Melendez did a better job early in the second and was able to crack Maynard in the face a few times. Still, Maynard, who looks eerily similar to actor Erik Per Sullivan, scored multiple takedowns.

Melendez was able to escape the rear-naked chokes and almost pulled off an awkward Kimura, but ran out of energy in trying. Towards the end of the second round, Melendez swept Maynard and sunk in a relatively deep guillotine. However the crafty fighter was able to escape, reverse tides and in turn sink a guillotine of his own. This time, Melendez couldn't escape and was forced to tap out.

Dana White, surprisingly not sporting some wacky and wild t-shirt, was oozing with delight after watching an awesome fight. Next week's episode will have the final two quarterfinal match-ups.

Mike Sloan is filling in for Scott Holmes, who returns to TUF duty next week.