Last week we wrapped up the remaining preliminary fights, and now the table has been set. Sixteen fighters passed the first big test to face the difficult decision of which level of the bunk bed to take.
Some of the guys wandered the rooms of their new temporary home while others wasted no time finding food and the grill.
“You should have never showed me this,” said
Junie Allen Browning as he was directed to the liquor closet, where several shelves were stacked with bottles and bottles of distilled beverages.
Liters of liquid stupid were just waiting to be the fuse for rage-filled eruptions. As you will see, each season a contestant or two will exhibit strong symptoms of a psychological condition now known as “Acute Lebenitis.” This malady most commonly manifests itself by causing cries for attention, errant urination, bouts of depression mixed with top-of-the-world euphoria and the uncanny ability to send one’s career sailing as though Beckham had kicked it himself. Other names for this condition are “Ruediger Rickets,” “Inhofer Syndrome” and “Taylor Disorder.”
Moving on, a few of the fighters discussed their reasons to be on the show.
Ryan Bader wants to fight on the biggest stage, and Junie Browning said his brothers forged him into a fighter: “I was raised to be tough.”
Krzysztof Soszynski is from another path.
“I’d never been in a fight in my life until five years ago,” he said, and all it took was a few judo classes for Soszynski to get hooked.
We are only three episodes in, and this season suffered more casualties as lightweight Brian McLaughlin and light heavyweight Karn Grigoryan both joined
Antwain Britt by being suspended due to injury. Both men and their broken noses were sent packing to heal back home. Kyle Kingsbury was brought back at light heavyweight, based on his tough showing against Bader.
Frank Mir won the coin toss and made the first choice of this season’s draft by taking former IFL fighter Krzysztof Soszynski.
Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira decided on
Ryan Bader as his first pick. One by one, each fighter was chosen with the exception of Roli Delgado, who was the fortunate lightweight to get back on the show and arrived later.
Nogueira expressed his hope that his team would become just that, a team. He was big on the guys putting in their work together and building each other up. Meanwhile, Mir’s practice was a bit more of an every-man-for-himself type of setup.
Mir’s coaches this season are Ken Hahn for stand-up and Abu Dhabi stud Robert Drysdale for the groundwork. Nogueira brought his coaches from Brazil. For all things ground, he has Daniel Valverde and for punch work, Al “Stankie” Stankiewicz, who used to work with
Vitor Belfort.
“Today is cash in hand,” said Stankie, advising his fighters to make the most of this special opportunity.
First night in the house, and Junie was already swaying and braying.
“He gets bored easy when he doesn’t have alcohol and Red Bull in his system,” said
Shane Primm, who is sort of amused.
Browning destroyed the joint and raised general hell. He was out to fight anyone and everyone until he hit the booze wall and spent some time sobbing in a heap by the pool. Cold beers and hot tears: Yeehaw, it’s TUF season!
Time for the first fight selection and Nogueira got to pick the matchup since Mir got the first fighter pick. Nogueira selected
Tom Lawlor from Team Mir to face what he figured to be his best fighter in Ryan Bader. Team Nogueira figured that Bader is just a better version of Lawlor, and they plan for Bader to dominate in any position. Nogueira would also like to see Mir’s best wrestler get knocked off to preserve his other ducklings.
“He’s bigger than me, he’s stronger than me, he’s faster than me, he’s better looking than me, he dresses better than me,” Lawlor said. “I really have nothing going for me but this horrible haircut and that I’m motivated because I’m the underdog.”
“I love Tom,” Bader said. “He’s a great guy, he’s a funny guy, but it’s business now. I fought my friend the first fight and I had no qualms putting elbows in his face.”
Lawlor smartly defended Bader’s opening takedown attempt, and the two traded in the clinch to begin the fight. Bader then threw a right and ducked under Lawlor for a double leg. From his back, Lawlor endured some short elbows but kept Bader from passing his half-guard.
Lawlor eventually scrambled up and traded with Bader, landing a few knees and a right or two. Bader picked his shot again and planted his shoulder into Lawlor’s midsection for another takedown. From the top, Bader kept it up with the elbow chip shots and body shots. Lawlor created some space and pushed Bader with his feet but didn’t get up.
“You’re supposed to explode out,” said Mir of the mistake Lawlor made. Bader loaded up a punch from Tulsa and brought it down from the standing position, bouncing Lawlor’s head off the mat and knocking him out cold.
Nogueira and his boys celebrated while Mir’s team consoled Lawlor as he dealt with his loss.
“I take my hat off to him,” said Lawlor, who had never been knocked out.
Next week the real shenanigans start, as Junie’s having another of his Kentucky fits. It looks as though Dana White will be having another one of his legendary talks as well, one that includes the words “now you’re those idiots” while everyone hangs their heads.
We’ll find out next week if White has to tell Junie to “go on now, git!”
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