Showtime’s Reality Check
Here’s the thing about real fights: they can be a real pain in the
ass to promote.
A hundred years ago, legitimate wrestlers would roll and twist on a mat for hours in an attempt to snag a submission. When organizers realized the stalemates were driving away spectators, they started choreographing bouts. Evolution of that particular strategy eventually brought us Hulk Hogan and folded steel chairs to the cranium. (Lucky us.)
In 2007, there seems to be equal fretting over the grappling component of mixed martial arts.
Leave two men on the mat for too long without any action, and the crowd begins to get restless, their jeers fueled by high ticket prices and cheap beer. The referee, pressured by the mob, the athletic commission, and the promoters, stands up the athletes to resume their C-level kickboxing contest. This is likely beneficial to the fighter who was on the bottom, since he knows that by simply hanging on instead of engaging, he’s destined to get back to where he feels most comfortable.
Believe it: the rule designed to discourage apathy on the ground actually encourages it.
There is clearly something wrong with the system here.
That fact came back to bite Gary Shaw and Showtime firmly on their heavily-invested butts on Saturday, when former UFC champion and reigning egomaniac Frank Shamrock (Pictures) disqualified himself from a legitimate outcome against Renzo Gracie (Pictures).
Working from the bottom, Shamrock pulled Gracie’s head back and launched two knees, connecting first under the right ear and then to the back of the neck at the shoulders.
One knee could be construed as a brain fart. Two would be considered malicious. Purposely maneuvering your opponent’s head into place for optimal damage could be construed as being wildly irresponsible.
The irony here is that promotions expect action on the ground, yet remove the weaponry that would make said activity happen. Shamrock’s knees from the bottom were effective and punishing, though we’ll never know how well he would’ve applied them when his opponent expected the attacks.
The conspiracy theories abound:
Theory No. 1: Shamrock Wanted Out
The most popular among the grassy knoll contingent. Shamrock was being controlled — though not damaged — on the mat and feared a judge’s decision would not go in his favor. He landed illegal blows to snag either a No Contest or a DQ, either one favorable to an outright loss.
Efficacy: Assuming Shamrock was that diabolical, one imagines he would’ve waited until late in the third round to make absolutely certain he wouldn’t have another opportunity to clip Gracie on the feet.
Theory No. 2: Gracie Wanted Out
After receiving the knees, Gracie rolled onto his back and told loved ones he could see a bright light and angels strumming their harps.
All right, so that’s a stretch, but Renzo appeared as though he had just been run over by a semi. By readily accepting the DQ, Gracie earned himself the winner’s purse and a notch over Shamrock. The stratagem appears solid …
Efficacy: … until it sinks in that it’s Renzo Gracie (Pictures) we’re talking about. The guy who got his arm snapped against Sakuraba and then complained about the referee stopping the match. The guy who not only stepped in to face two former UFC heavyweight champions, but beat them. The guy who talks about fighting in Brazil during an arena riot and getting stabbed through the fence with a smile on his face.
If Renzo weren’t truly the victim of some scrambled circuits, I imagine he would’ve launched a couple knees of his own, the combative equivalent of the middle finger.
Theory No. 3: Showtime Wanted a Rematch
Promoters are accused of orchestrating an ambiguous ending in order to sell the return engagement on pay-per-view.
This would require a Byzantine plot involving the referee, the fighters, and promoter Gary Shaw, who would certainly have his license revoked if he were found to be promoting a fraudulent bout.
Efficacy: Don’t be stupid.
Theory No. 4: Frank Just Screwed Up
Ding.
Several slices of enlightenment proceed Saturday’s fight card. For one, the rules preventing any sort of appreciable offense on the ground are archaic and need to be revised. If you want action, you need to equip athletes with the proper tools. Knees on the ground would probably reduce the number of artificial stand-ups by half.
But the rules of engagement are just as muddled as ever. Knees to the head are illegal on the mat, but what about Shamrock’s knees to the neck? Does anyone know?
Me neither.
And whom exactly would the judges have given the first round to? Renzo scored two takedowns and maintained control, but Shamrock landed all the blows standing and on the mat. Which is more valuable: control, or damage? Does anyone know?
Me neither.
Here’s one thing that was made clear in the seven minutes of aborted main event action: Frank Shamrock (Pictures) has spent more time on his tan than his takedown defense. If the fight with Phil Baroni (Pictures) ever materializes, he’s going to be out-wrestled en route to a decision.
Misc. Showtime Notes
Gina Carano (Pictures) is going to be a very big star, the Laila Ali of a more contemporary and kinetic sport. If you don’t think SpikeTV is looking into an all-female season of The Ultimate Fighter as of Monday morning, I have a lovely bridge to sell you. Very lightly used. … Was anyone else irritated by Mauro Ranallo’s constant references to Bill Goldberg’s career in pro wrestling? He once cited Goldberg’s “undefeated streak” as though it was an actual achievement and not the product of a staff writer’s imagination. Ugh. … The dragon head adorning the fighter entrance was very Whitesnake concert circa 1985. I half-expected Spinal Tap to come out for an opening number. … The horns are playing “Taps” for the careers of both David Loiseau (Pictures) and “Cabbage” Correira. Loiseau appears to be suffering from what physicians have dubbed PedroRizzoitis, while Correira seems to be the constant recipient of blunt-force trauma. The former is just frustrating, while the latter could seriously impede one’s ability to maintain bowel control later in life. Know when to say when, fellas.
For comments, email jrossen@sherdog.com
A hundred years ago, legitimate wrestlers would roll and twist on a mat for hours in an attempt to snag a submission. When organizers realized the stalemates were driving away spectators, they started choreographing bouts. Evolution of that particular strategy eventually brought us Hulk Hogan and folded steel chairs to the cranium. (Lucky us.)
In 2007, there seems to be equal fretting over the grappling component of mixed martial arts.
Leave two men on the mat for too long without any action, and the crowd begins to get restless, their jeers fueled by high ticket prices and cheap beer. The referee, pressured by the mob, the athletic commission, and the promoters, stands up the athletes to resume their C-level kickboxing contest. This is likely beneficial to the fighter who was on the bottom, since he knows that by simply hanging on instead of engaging, he’s destined to get back to where he feels most comfortable.
Believe it: the rule designed to discourage apathy on the ground actually encourages it.
There is clearly something wrong with the system here.
That fact came back to bite Gary Shaw and Showtime firmly on their heavily-invested butts on Saturday, when former UFC champion and reigning egomaniac Frank Shamrock (Pictures) disqualified himself from a legitimate outcome against Renzo Gracie (Pictures).
Working from the bottom, Shamrock pulled Gracie’s head back and launched two knees, connecting first under the right ear and then to the back of the neck at the shoulders.
One knee could be construed as a brain fart. Two would be considered malicious. Purposely maneuvering your opponent’s head into place for optimal damage could be construed as being wildly irresponsible.
The irony here is that promotions expect action on the ground, yet remove the weaponry that would make said activity happen. Shamrock’s knees from the bottom were effective and punishing, though we’ll never know how well he would’ve applied them when his opponent expected the attacks.
The conspiracy theories abound:
Theory No. 1: Shamrock Wanted Out
The most popular among the grassy knoll contingent. Shamrock was being controlled — though not damaged — on the mat and feared a judge’s decision would not go in his favor. He landed illegal blows to snag either a No Contest or a DQ, either one favorable to an outright loss.
Efficacy: Assuming Shamrock was that diabolical, one imagines he would’ve waited until late in the third round to make absolutely certain he wouldn’t have another opportunity to clip Gracie on the feet.
Theory No. 2: Gracie Wanted Out
After receiving the knees, Gracie rolled onto his back and told loved ones he could see a bright light and angels strumming their harps.
All right, so that’s a stretch, but Renzo appeared as though he had just been run over by a semi. By readily accepting the DQ, Gracie earned himself the winner’s purse and a notch over Shamrock. The stratagem appears solid …
Efficacy: … until it sinks in that it’s Renzo Gracie (Pictures) we’re talking about. The guy who got his arm snapped against Sakuraba and then complained about the referee stopping the match. The guy who not only stepped in to face two former UFC heavyweight champions, but beat them. The guy who talks about fighting in Brazil during an arena riot and getting stabbed through the fence with a smile on his face.
If Renzo weren’t truly the victim of some scrambled circuits, I imagine he would’ve launched a couple knees of his own, the combative equivalent of the middle finger.
Theory No. 3: Showtime Wanted a Rematch
Promoters are accused of orchestrating an ambiguous ending in order to sell the return engagement on pay-per-view.
This would require a Byzantine plot involving the referee, the fighters, and promoter Gary Shaw, who would certainly have his license revoked if he were found to be promoting a fraudulent bout.
Efficacy: Don’t be stupid.
Theory No. 4: Frank Just Screwed Up
Ding.
Several slices of enlightenment proceed Saturday’s fight card. For one, the rules preventing any sort of appreciable offense on the ground are archaic and need to be revised. If you want action, you need to equip athletes with the proper tools. Knees on the ground would probably reduce the number of artificial stand-ups by half.
But the rules of engagement are just as muddled as ever. Knees to the head are illegal on the mat, but what about Shamrock’s knees to the neck? Does anyone know?
Me neither.
And whom exactly would the judges have given the first round to? Renzo scored two takedowns and maintained control, but Shamrock landed all the blows standing and on the mat. Which is more valuable: control, or damage? Does anyone know?
Me neither.
Here’s one thing that was made clear in the seven minutes of aborted main event action: Frank Shamrock (Pictures) has spent more time on his tan than his takedown defense. If the fight with Phil Baroni (Pictures) ever materializes, he’s going to be out-wrestled en route to a decision.
Misc. Showtime Notes
Gina Carano (Pictures) is going to be a very big star, the Laila Ali of a more contemporary and kinetic sport. If you don’t think SpikeTV is looking into an all-female season of The Ultimate Fighter as of Monday morning, I have a lovely bridge to sell you. Very lightly used. … Was anyone else irritated by Mauro Ranallo’s constant references to Bill Goldberg’s career in pro wrestling? He once cited Goldberg’s “undefeated streak” as though it was an actual achievement and not the product of a staff writer’s imagination. Ugh. … The dragon head adorning the fighter entrance was very Whitesnake concert circa 1985. I half-expected Spinal Tap to come out for an opening number. … The horns are playing “Taps” for the careers of both David Loiseau (Pictures) and “Cabbage” Correira. Loiseau appears to be suffering from what physicians have dubbed PedroRizzoitis, while Correira seems to be the constant recipient of blunt-force trauma. The former is just frustrating, while the latter could seriously impede one’s ability to maintain bowel control later in life. Know when to say when, fellas.
For comments, email jrossen@sherdog.com
